Besökarnas egna 35-39
36. (Vi ber om ursäkt för att den är på Engelska) Origins of man... God created the mule, and told him: "You will be a Mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass but you will lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years." The mule answered: "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20."
And it was so.
Then God created the dog, and told him: "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 25 years." And the dog responded: "Lord, to live 25 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 10 years."
And it was so.
God then created the monkey, and told him: "You are a Monkey. You will swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." And the monkey responded: "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years."
And it was so.
Finally, God created Man and told him: "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded: "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the ten years the monkey rejected."
And it was so.
And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a fool to amuse his grandchildren.
And it was so.
37. (Även här ber vi om ursäkt för att den är på engelska)A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told
him he has only 24 hours to live.
Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have
only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?"
Of course,the wife agrees, and they do it again.
Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left.
He touches his wife shoulder, and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die."
She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time.
After this session, the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
The man, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns,until
he's down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..."
At this point the wife sits up and says,
"Listen, I have to get up in the morning. You don't!"
38. OBS!! Jag vill först varna för vissa Razistiska inslag och jag vill påpeka att jag inte är razist.
Det var en gång 2 negrer som var ute och fraktade negerbollar med en lastbil. Plötsligt så sladdade lastbilen av vägen och välte så att alla negerbollarna ramlade ut. Då kom det 2 tyskar förbi och den ena började vilt stampa på negerbollarna, den andra frågade varför och han svarade:
-SKYNDA DIG, 2 AV DOM HAR REDAN KLÄCKTS!!!!!
39. Det var två gammla män som skulle ut o resa.det ena hörde vldigt dåligt så den andra fick berätta precis all som sades.
dom skulle till thailand av alla ställen!.
dom kom ombord lyckligt o väl och efter en stund kom ett meddelade från kapten.
-vi flyger nu på 1000 meters höjd.
-VA SA HAN?
-JO HAN SA ATT VI FLYGER PÅ 1000M/h!!
dom åt lite och innan dom skulle landa kom kapten tillbaka.-jag vill lämna lite info om det thailändska folket!det är så att ungefär hälften av thailändarna har TBC o hälften AIDS..
-VA SA HAN????
-JO HAN SA DET:OM VI SKALL KNULLA SKALL VI KNULLA DOM SOM HOSTAR???!!!!
